Pulling Strings
by fandom queen 4evr
Summary: I hear her sob, "but… everything is …falling apart, every time we get closer I,I get pulled away from you!" "Hey it's okay, look" I say as I make my hand look like scissors that are cutting something. She looks at me in a perplexed manner. "What are you doing?" she says wiping a tear. "Cutting away the pulling strings, because I never want to leave you." Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Katniss POV

When the sun rises, your supposed to feel great that a new day has started and a sign of rebirth and life was created but for me it adds another bearing weight on my shoulders. Sometimes it can get so heavy that I can't bear it any more and I have thoughts that no one should ever have. The feeling of arms wrapping around me distracts me from my thoughts. "Good morning" peeta says with a giddy smile on his face, I groan in response knowing what's coming next, he is going to ask me to get out of bed. As if on cue he pulls me off the bed and wraps me into a hug. He knows I'm depressed and on the edge of committing suicide, so he tries to cheer me up every way he can. On normal days I would just lock myself in my room and stare out the window, but today was not a normal day. Peeta was determined to get me outside in the woods hoping to make me feel better I suppose. "Would you like me to turn around?" he asked when I have finished gathering my clothes to change into. He hasn't left me alone in a room ever since I attempted to drown myself in the tub last week so I just answer with a quick nod and start to change.

The crisp air felt foreign on my skin that hasn't seen daylight ever since I got home after the rebellion. I flinch when peeta places his hand on the small of back, he notices and starts to retract his hand. My eyes dart to his face and for a second we just stand there starring. I decided to break the starring contest and start walking to the lake were my father taught, and played with me. We sat down on a log without talking. Then as if peeta was going to get up and leave I whisper, "please", my voice sounds a lot different than I thought. it is more raspy and deep rather than my strong voice.

Peeta POV

"Please" as soon as I heard that small voice I turned to her and looked into her eyes. Oh those beautiful grey eyes. She hasn't talked ever since her mom left to work in the other districts. "What did you say?"

"Please. Tell me its going to work out and its just a nightmare and prims not dead, Finnick is not dead my mom didn't leave…and...And", katniss' ramblings soon turned into sobs that crushed my heart. I gathered her into my arms and rubbed her back and whispered, "I wish I could".

Katniss POV

The tears were now flowing freely down my face, I clutched peeta's shirt like it was the last piece of my sanity. After a while of sitting there being bundled in his arms I feel my eyelids starting to get heavy and I drifted off into a sleep that promised nightmares.

I wake to the gentle sway of peeta carrying me through the gate and the streets of twelve. For some time I just stay there until we get home then peeta notices that I am awake. One thing that I am truly thankful for is that peeta understands that you you want to go to bed or go for a walk alone it's like he already knows. He gently carries me to my room, and lays me on the bed and right before my eyelids shut for the rest of the night I hear him say "always" before he leaves the room.

I'm in a field. Tall grasses surround me as I look for something. A single word pops into my head. Dead. The field suddenly turned into the paved streets of the capitol and everyone that I loved or killed stood in a line in front of the president's house. Out of no where a mutt that looked like me killed Cato. Then a bomb to Prim. A spear to rue. Tracker jackers to glimmer. Fog to Mags. Lizard mutts to Finnick. After that the pain in my chest was screaming but I couldn't move it was almost like I was frozen in time. Then out of the darkness walked peeta. I was confused at first but then I saw him. The him was not peeta but president snow. I wanted to scream and warn peeta but I felt like my throat was on fire. Snow pulled out a knife. I started screaming like a wild man.

I woke screaming and clawing at the sheets; peeta busted into my room trying to calm me down but had no control over my traumatized body that still lived in the nightmare. I clawed and grasped anything I could to try to get out of the nightmare that was still printed on my lids. Then I see him. His worried eyes shine through the chaos. "GO!" I screamed, " Leave before I kill you!" The feeling of pain in my chest was almost unbearable. "No" he said in a calm voice which almost irritated has now wrapped me in his arms as I sob hysterically into his shirt. "I will never leave, I will be here, Always." He replies.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up covered in sweat, I can feel my heart beat racing. Peeta's arms stretch out to wrap me in an embrace but all I can think is that I have to get out. I don't know what I'm trying to escape from, but I can't help to leap out of the bed and run out of the house. And that's all I do, run.

I run past the broken roads and fallen walls until I reach the fence. By that time I hear footsteps behind me, which only makes me run faster. Someone calls out but I can't hear them through my sobbing and the crunch of branches under my feet. The woods get denser with each step and I swat trees out of my way. That's when it happened. Pricks of pain occurred all over my body. My world swayed and dipped into misshapen figures when I see president snow leaning against a tree. I stop running and stand there confused "lets agree we will never lie to each other" he says with a sly smile. This only makes me angrier I feel the heat of anger rising in my chest I let out a scream before I lunge towards him to wrap my hands around his neck but he disappears like mist into the woods. Before I realized it I was on the ground with a constant jabbing in my neck. The pain felt like staples were scraping my flesh in a repeated motion. I cry out in pain until my vision fades into a deeply threatening color of black.

Peeta POV

My barefeet scape across the pavement, _why does she have to be fast?_ I think to myself. I get closer and can almost touch her braid that is bouncing behind her I yell, "Katniss!" she doesn't seem to hear me, so I try again only this time my prosthetic hits a rock and sends me tumbling towards the ground. As soon as I get my feet up under myself again I hear a scream, and that was the thing that set me off. My adrenaline was cursing through me like acid. I ran faster than I have ever ran before. I called her over and over until I see it, a small pool blood around her face. When I got to her, my hands were trembling. _Come on peeta, think don't panic!_ I practically screamed in my head. As if my hands had a mind of them own I ripped my shirt and tied the piece around the gash in her neck to try to stop the bleeding. I scooped her up in my arms and ran to the hospital. I got many odd looks as I sprinted through the streets but I didn't care. My mind was only set to one thing, katniss. By the time I get to the hospital the blood has soaked through the makeshift bandage and on to what is left of my shirt.

Katniss POV

My head feels fuzzy, and oddly enough I remember everything that happened before I passed out. I open my eyes when a blinding light greets me so I decide to keep my eyes shut. Someone is stroking my hair (peeta I suppose) when he accidentally touches a bruise on the side of my head making me groan. He puts down his hand and I can feel his eyes searching my face. I slowly open my eyes fearing the white light will blind me when I hear peeta whisper, "oh my god your okay."

"Can I sit up?" I ask. He just nods as he cradles my head as he helps me push myself up. For a moment we just stare at each other.

"Why did you run?" I an almost confused but then I remember,

"To escape."

"To escape what" he says pushing further

It hadn't hit me until then, but what I really wanted to escape was the past.

"The past" I say in a hollow voice.

 **THANKS FOR READING PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE GETTING TIPS ON HOW TO IMPROVE MY WRITING AND REMEMBER, IF YOU CANT SAY SOMETHING NICE DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!**


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss POV

His eyes start to fill with sorrow, "oh Katniss" he says as he gently climbs in to the bed with me "the past can pull us back but it can also drive us forward…" I look at him with confused eyes _How can that drive us forward, how could anything so terrible not drag us down_. I can tell that he's trying to get a good answer because his eyebrows scrunch up in such away I almost giggle. "look at it this way", he starts "would prim want to see you this way? Or would she want you to keep living your life?" As soon as the word _prim_ left his mouth felt like a rock dropped in my stomach. I try to hold back tears as I answer, "oh…*sniff*…I guess _she_ would want me to be…happy."

We spent the rest of the day daydreaming, and having conversations that die too quickly, and just enjoying each other's company. At about five o'clock a nurse came in and changed my bandages and asked me to tell her what happened on that day I ran through the woods looking for an escape route. I tell her all I can remember but then I stopped in mid sentence, "snow was there", I busted out imagining how the terror looked on my face.

Peeta POV

The nurse and I both stare at katniss as if she has grown a second head.

"katniss you killed snow." replies the nurse in the most resurring way possible

"But he was there!"katniss objects,

"It must have been a hallucination from…" she leaves the sentence in the air biting her lip as if she about to take it back.

"From what" I say

"Well you see, we suspected that while katniss was running she probably upsetter some ... _tracker jackers_ and gotten stung many times which would result with a hallucination. Oh look at the time! I must be going," she says before rushing out hesitantly of the room.

Katniss POV

I turn to see that peeta is now sitting up and clutching the sheets. "peeta" I whisper cautiously as I reach to touch his shoulder. His body whips around and takes hold of my once out stretched arm. His grip tightens and I cry out in pain. Once the cry was released from my lips his face becomes slack and his eyes full of worry.

"Did I hurt you? Oh my gosh I'm so sorry"

"No, I'm Okay really."

"I'm really sorry katniss I would never hurt you on purpose"

"peeta it's really okay, the topic about…well you know…was uncalled for, you have no reason for blaming yourself for the flashback." I say trying to comfort him but the look of guilt is still plastered on his face.

"Hey, look at me," I say as raise his chin so he has no choice but to look at me. "Lets just pretend it never happened." He tries to fool me with a smile but I know him too well, he is still taking this head on.

The next morning peeta and I were free to go home. We didn't talk much on the way back to Victor's Village. Once we get to the front gate I let out a deep heavy sigh. I feel good to be home and not surrounded by mechanical beeps and bright lights. I haven't noticed it before but now it stands out, peeta is limping. We walk through the kitchen to the den. "Is your leg okay?" I ask leaning against the doorway.

"Yeah just a little sore" I give him a questioning look "from the running " he explains then plops down on the couch.

"peeta "I say walking over to him, "do you ever feel like a puppet?" After I say that I realize how ridiculous that must of sounded. "Well I mean, like you want to go somewhere or be by something or someone in your life ,but…um never mind…"

"No. Please continue."

"And it feels like you have this string pulling you in another direction." Tears spring from my eyes, "I want our relationship to be fixed peeta. I want to be with you."

Peeta POV

How long I've waited for her to say that. She wants to be with me. I gather her into my arms and whisper "me too." I gently stroke the dark braid trailing down her back when I hear her sob, "but… everything is …falling apart, every time we get closer I,I get pulled away from you!"

"Hey it's okay, look" I say as I make my hand look like scissors that are cutting something. She looks at me in a perplexed manner. "What are you doing?" she says wiping a tear.

"Cutting away the pulling strings, because I never want to leave you."


End file.
